Another Monday comes and here I type, wondering if Project Mabus will ever see the light of day. More rejection letters came today from two agents. While I do appreciate them responding back to me (be it formally or informally), it’s becoming a bit disheartening at this stage of the game.
I completed my manuscript almost 2 months ago. Since then, I’ve been querying agents. Some have gotten back to me and others remain silent. I knew this was to be expected. All of the books I’ve read about the publishing industry had warned me about the nature of the business. But, I was excited to try it and see what would happen. I even called my fiancé with the excitement of a 6 year old on Christmas morning when I got my first rejection letter. She wondered why I was so happy about being denied to which I simply replied:
“Because, someone noticed me.”
And I really believe that is what this is all about. Now that I have been trying my damndest to get my novel onto consumer shelves, receiving all of these rejections is doing tremendous damage to my thoroughly developed ego. Of course, I know all fiction writers say this but I truly believe my concept is brilliantly unique. I can safely say this because after scouring the internet and various brick and mortar stores, I haven’t found anything published quite like Project Mabus. It is a story that needs to be told and one I want to share with everyone out there.
When I began writing fan-fiction in my earlier writing career (that might sound a bit pretentious since I don’t have much of a writing career to begin with anyways), I always told my readers that I only wrote these stories for their enjoyment. To be honest, I don’t need to write these stories for any personal sense of fulfillment. I already know what’s going to happen, from beginning to end. The Agent M series has been planned out as such. I could tell you everything you want to know right here and now.
But where’s the fun in that?
The truth of the matter is that I can’t enjoy my work the same way the public can. To me, the Agent M series is a project I’ve been itching to write for over 8 years. It’s been on my mind since I was a freshman in college and it continues to haunt me in many ways. Finishing the first book in this series is a milestone. I honestly never thought it would ever come to exist beyond my memory and imagination. Yet here it stands, ready and waiting to be consumed by the masses.
Well, I just needed to vent a little bit. This bump in the road may have weakened my confidence a little bit but is far from destroying it. I’ll look back at this post a year from now and laugh… Or cry (haha). I will continue to remain optimistic. After all, unlike Agent M: Project Mabus, the future has not been written.
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